Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
me + whiskey = a bad person
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
