I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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