Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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