So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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