i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
soo... how was my night?
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