i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
