You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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