Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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