normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
