I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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