Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
