problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
