Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Drake has all the answers
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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