So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
