Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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