that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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