Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
