It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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