i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
