where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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