i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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