I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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