I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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