I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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