is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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