He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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