I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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