i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
