It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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