The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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