Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
