I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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