I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
