You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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