Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
