Pappa wants mamma naked
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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