oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
