Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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