bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
