I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
