3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
