I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize