Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
