you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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