google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
