I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's shark week go big or go home
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
