I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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