I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
