Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize