I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
