the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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