Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Randomize
