Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
