Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize