well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize