i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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