What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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