So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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