I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
