i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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