i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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