Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
