My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
