Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
soo... how was my night?
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