Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
