Me. At least after what I've been through.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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