just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
