Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
